Does it feel as if you are always plagued by self-doubt? Do you often think negatively or grapple with a lack of confidence? We all sometimes struggle to be our best selves, and you know what? That’s okay. Not only is it okay, but it’s also a part of life that we all deal with at one point or another. It may feel as if you will never become a truly confident woman. The reality is, however, that there are helpful ways to combat those negative feelings. All you need is a quick confidence booster!
Self confidence is a learned skill. Moreover, it is a skill that can take time to develop. It might not happen overnight, but you can turn that lack of confidence around. You will see yourself as a beautiful, confident woman because you are. Being self conscious happens to us all at some point. Right now you’re going to learn how to turn that train around to feel confident in any situation.
You must dedicate yourself to the process. Start by allowing yourself to think about who you are and what you want to show the outside world. Know that you are valuable, worthy, and amazing. Improving on your lack of confidence is a big part of the process, but there are other aspects as well. Maybe you do not lack confidence, but you need some fresh new advice on how to super-boost your ego.
You’re here, so that means you are already on the right track. Wanting to be more confident is the first step. Feeling a connection between yourself and the idea of confidence is the first step to self-assurance.
Where shall we start...
What Does Self Conscious Mean?
To begin with, being self conscious means that you are hyper-aware of yourself. It can mean you embarrass easily over things that are out of your control. Self conscious means you are uncomfortable with who you are.
The first step to fixing this can be difficult, but it is certainly doable with a quick confidence booster or two. You must self-reflect. What is stopping you from becoming a confident woman? This is where you do the soul-searching, and this can be challenging for some people to tune into at first.
For now, take time to sit down and just be with yourself. Evaluate who you are—your core beliefs, your goals, your morals, and your aspirations. Next, consider who you are, what makes you the way you are, and what has shaped you into that person. Finally, allow your mind to wander and follow it wherever it leads you.
To clarify, think about why you might have negative beliefs about yourself. You may wish to get to the root cause of why you are so self conscious. Oftentimes figuring out why you became this way can help you lift yourself up and work through a lack of confidence. More importantly, however, you want to find a way to figure out what you do like about yourself. There is always something to feel positive about and something that can help you to unleash the confidence.
If you are having trouble with this part of the process in particular, here is a short list to get you started.
Things I Like About Myself:
- I have a great memory
- I’m really good at math
- I make the best lasagna
- I’m thoughtful
- I know how to fix a leaky pipe
- I am always on time
Are you getting the picture? Start your own list now!
Don’t be deterred if this feels like a difficult assignment for you. We are ultimately emotional creatures. Find a way to relate positively to the things you like about yourself. With this in mind, feel free to stroke your own ego and tell yourself how absolutely awesome you are. Being a confident woman means that you actually allow yourself to like and enjoy something about the person you are. Recognize your gifts, your talents, your positive traits and attributes, and the things that make you great.
Repairing a lack of confidence won’t always feel outside of your comfort zone. It will get easier every day.
5 Signs You Have a Lack of Confidence
Maybe you’re not sure if you are confident. Some days you feel sexy and sassy. Other days you want to hide away from the world because your blouse is wrinkly and your hair is a wreck. Here are some ways to tell whether or not you have a lack of confidence.
- You don’t speak up when you should. Maybe you listen to the opinions of others more than your own inner voice. Surprisingly, this describes a lot of us.
- You have a hard time making decisions. Perhaps you don’t trust your own judgment when it comes time to choose. In essence, you don’t trust your instincts.
- You slouch. Does your body automatically close in on itself when you go out in public? Pay attention to your posture, especially when you are not alone.
- You use a hundred filters on every photo you post on social media. Generally, you’re just never happy with any photo of yourself.
- You use black-or-white thinking. Everything is either 100% perfect or a complete disaster. In other words, you are a perfectionist.
What Does It Mean to Be a Confident Woman?
Being a confident woman means that you genuinely like yourself. You enjoy your own company. It means trusting your own decision-making. You are readily able to admit mistakes and jump headlong into problem-solving.
Most importantly, being a confident woman means you know who you are and you accept whoever that may be. As a confident woman, you should love your quirks, your personality, your choices, and your chosen path in life. Embracing your faults along with your positive attributes is what creates a healthy, well-balanced soul and it is the key to overcoming a lack of confidence.
As a confident woman, you’ll need to focus on the things you can change and the things you can improve. It’s important that you don’t dwell on people or situations that are out of your control.
Signs of a Confident Woman
Maybe you’re already a confident woman. If you are unsure whether you have enough confidence, or you just aspire to be less self conscious, these signs will help point you in the right direction. Here are 6 signs of a confident woman.
- You’re assertive
A confident woman is not self conscious. You are not afraid to speak up for what you want or need. This could be in the form of getting a promotion at work, or it can take the form of something much smaller, like getting the right latte from the barista.
- You’re not afraid to say no
Have you ever heard the saying “No is a complete sentence”? If you are a firm believer in this phrase, you may be well on your way to being a confident woman.
- You’re not afraid to like what you like
Do you ever feel like you have weird hobbies or terrible taste in movies? Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. That is for you to decide. A confident woman is not afraid to unapologetically like what she likes. A self conscious person tends to be shy or embarrassed about the things that they take pleasure in, particularly things they think are odd or strange.
- You get your stuff DONE
For example, you have a big presentation coming up and instead of sulking and dreading the event, you jump in with both feet. That doesn’t mean that as a confident woman you aren’t a little nervous. You are human, after all! It just means that you know it needs to be done and you don’t hesitate, regardless of your fear.
- You know what you’re bad at
You also know what you’re good at, but self conscious people tend to avoid doing things they do not excel in. A confident woman is not afraid to admit the things they are bad at. Certainly, you are also willing and capable of getting better at whatever it is that is holding you back.
- Finally, you lift others up
Have you seen the t-shirts that say, “Empowered women empower women”? This saying is a favorite of many a confident woman. You are so confident and comfortable in your own skin, you use your womanly superpowers to raise others. Giving compliments comes naturally to you. Also, you enjoy celebrating the victories of others, not just your own.
Try Utilizing a Quick Confidence Boosters
If you want to overcome your lack of confidence, sometimes you have to face the negative head on. Sometimes you have to deal with truths that are uncomfortable and challenging. As a confident woman, you must own them. This allows progress. So, what are some things you can do right now to demonstrate a change from self conscious to confident woman? Try out a confidence booster from this list to find out.
Set small goals
By accomplishing small goals over and over again, you’ll gain confidence in your power to achieve greatness. An effective confidence booster doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Furthermore, it doesn’t have to be mentally taxing. Start small and build from there.
Every day make it a point to focus on gratitude—gratitude for life, for love, for a job, for a home, for your kids or your spouse, for your pets—the list is endless. Every day, take a moment to reflect on the things you have that make you feel happy, safe, and loved.
Take a spa day
Think about how you feel immediately after getting out of the shower. Let’s say you were gardening all day long, or at an amusement park, or taking a long hike. The moment you step out of a steaming shower, feeling clean and refreshed is usually the moment you feel most confident. Don’t wait until you’re sweaty and uncomfortable. Make an appointment to get your hair done. Get a mani-pedi. Take a long, luxurious soak in a mud bath. When you practice self-care, you are pampering your soul.
Remove yourself from your self conscious bubble and take a risk. The moment you’ve finished something that scared you is the moment you will feel the most confident. You did something frightening, and you lived to tell the story! For instance, get on stage and sing a karaoke song! You’ll live, I promise, and it’s a great confidence booster!
Get your Wonder Woman on
Power pose every day. Stand firm, hands planted on your hips, back straight, shoulders back. This is your power pose. Hold it for 30 seconds before a big phone call, an interview, or a meeting. Do it when you feel nervous or you’re struggling with a lack of confidence for any reason at all. As proof, science has shown that power posing offers actual behavioral changes. Posing in a way that shows power decreases stress and increases feelings of control and authority.
Remain positive at all times
We’ve all been overcome by the negative thoughts, even when we’ve made some progress. That’s precisely why you need to focus on defeating them through positive reinforcement. Start by considering what inspires you because you will come to depend upon that as you move forward. You want to think of the things that help you feel positive, balanced, dedicated, and ready to take on the world. You can prolong positivity through inspirational quotes and daily mantras. In other words, repeat to yourself how awesome you are at least a dozen times a day to start with!
Tune out outside influences
Obviously, if social media or the internet in general is making you feel bad, remove yourself. If the person you eat lunch with every day makes you think negative thoughts, be sure to eat somewhere else. You have to control the wheel and where the bus is taking you – that is a sure-fire confidence booster you can use everyday.
Talk out loud to yourself
Look in the mirror and talk to yourself like you are having a conversation with a friend. Say things to yourself that you would only say to a good friend. You would never tell a friend that they look terrible with that haircut, or that they need to lose weight to be pretty. Self-talk can make or break a confident woman. Fill your mind with positive self-talk and never fuel that negative voice that is begging you to react negatively. This is a great way to work through a lack of confidence, but it can also work well for managing stress and maintaining focus when you need it.
Celebrate accomplishments and accept compliments
We’ve all been in a position where we feel silly taking a compliment, accepting encouragement, or celebrating something we did well. Welcoming praise should not be difficult because it can be a great confidence booster.
Accept compliments with grace and gratitude. When someone tells you that you did well, your only job is to believe them. We especially have a natural tendency to be self-deprecating and therefore dismiss something nice that somebody says. Stop doing that—from this moment on you have to start accepting the beautiful things people say about you.
Lastly, and most importantly, be kind to YOU
There’s a reason you get compliments. There is a reason to celebrate when you have accomplished something great. Even if you are humble or shy, you can still reward yourself. If you do great things, be kind to yourself and let yourself feel good in the moment. In other words, it’s okay to let your guard down, and it’s perfectly natural to feel good about yourself.
Start Being the Confident Woman You Are
We all feel a certain amount of self consciousness, some of us more than others. The thing to remember is that there are ways to overcome it. Even if you have struggled with self consciousness your entire life, you can find a way to embrace the person you are. This comes slowly and by building up to a better self-image. In addition, it may take you some time to come to a point where you can say that you have overcome the negative feelings.
Try practicing these confidence booster tips each and every day and slowly you will begin to feel better and less self conscious. All in all, getting to a point where you can truly say that you have overcome self-doubt is amazing. You can absolutely get there with practice, with a positive mindset, and with the knowledge that you are a worthy, wonderful person and a truly confident woman.
-  “Power posing: brief nonverbal displays affect neuroendocrine levels and risk tolerance.” NCBI. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20855902
Chandi Gilbert is a blogger and professional introvert. She has been a freelance writer since 2016, and her work has been featured on Contena, Wag, and Harness Magazine, among others. She is a member of the Freelancer’s Union and a Columbia College Alumni. She lives in Ohio with her husband and dogs who pull double duty as creative directors and heads of security. She writes blogs that help others feel better about themselves, and mentors beginner freelancers in their journeys.