You probably don’t think it’s possible, do you? Yes you’ve been down this road before and getting actual and lasting pleasure out of your sex life might seem impossible. You may have gone through several relationships or sexual experiences that lacked luster, so to speak. Are you tired of faking it? Then it’s time to change things up a bit. It’s time to take matters into your own hands, literally and figuratively.
Women often worry so much about pleasing their darling partner that they forget that they have needs of their own. Yes, I’m talking to you, and it’s high time you start focusing on how to maximize your own pleasure. What’s even better is that you get to play an active role in this.
So, forget the idea of lying in bed with yet another less than stellar sexual performance. You get to play into what it takes to turn you on. If you speak up, know what works for you, and get in tune with your own body, you can play a little give-and-take then you are about to have something amazing. Mind blowing sex, real actual orgasms, and pleasure on your terms — oh my!
It’s About Taking What You Want
You may be wondering how exactly you’re supposed to capture your mojo. How are you supposed to get your groove back? How can you go from disappointed all the time to “pleasure town”? Perhaps you’ve been a bit on the submissive side up until now. That’s about to change!
Maybe you just never really knew how to communicate what you wanted. Many women find that they never really knew their bodies or their likes that well to begin with. If you don’t know what your body longs for, then how can you expect someone else to supply it?
This is your time to figure out what defines your pleasure, and then go after it, sister! That’s a pretty cool opportunity if you think about it too. Rather than act as a bystander in your sex life, you get to step up. You can make some amazing things happen, and you can quit lying there waiting for it to be over. Prepare yourself, for you’re about to learn some pretty sweet secrets to long term pleasure success!
1. Recognize That Your Whole Body Needs Attention
Here’s the thing — it’s not just about your typical pleasure zones. We all know where a woman gets most of her pleasure from, but it’s not just isolated to this one obvious area. It’s actually much more about the whole body getting the attention it needs.
Your ears, your neck, your chest, every last inch of you needs a little extra love. You need to really think about that for it means that your entire body is involved in the act. All of you is getting attention in whatever way that means. So forget about focusing your attention and your lover’s attention on only the most obvious pleasure zones. Now is the time so think about how you can cash in on this little gem of information. Start thinking about how your body can get a little bit of that love, and then know how to ask for it from the provider.
2. Communicate Your Wants and Likes
This is a life lesson that so many of us need to learn as women. Are you speaking up for what you want? Are you actually telling your lover what’s working for you? Even more so, are you telling your partner what is NOT working for you? If not then it’s time to get back to basics.
If we want to experience pleasure, we need to define what that means. We have to take it one step further, though — we need to speak up and say what’s on our minds. You have to say what you like, what you want, how you want it, and what you’d love for your partner to do for you.
There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants. When you know what you want in the bedroom and you ask for it, you’re going to get it. Truthfully, it’s that simple and yet it’s also empowering. How much of a goddess are you going to be if you speak to what you want and then get it? You’re like some sexual role model, look at you go!
3. Take Matters Into Your Own Hands
Yes, this is about a little bit of exploration. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, you really have to get to know your body. You want to know what feels good and all of that starts at your own hands. You are the person best suited to speak about what you want when you have provided it for yourself.
Women have a sort of stigma or embarrassment about exploring their own bodies — don’t let that be your reality. You get to explore your amazing body and then you can report back on what feels good. You can provide yourself with some pleasure so you are setting up your partner to be able to do the same thing.
You’re a pretty cool person to get to know. In order to know all your hot zones and what makes for pleasure for you, start figuring that out for yourself. Know that it will actually be a fun chore that will pay off big time in your ability to have pleasure with others — it all starts with you!
4. Give a Little, Get a Little
You know how it goes — you give a little, you take a little. There is no better place to apply that old adage than in the bedroom. You have to figure out and provide what your partner wants, and then you can most certainly expect the same in return.
Maybe this time is a bit different in that you take control over the situation. Maybe you start by giving your partner a little love, and then see what happens. You are more than likely going to get some serious love in return, and the rest is mind-blowing history.
Pleasure is a two-way street, or at least it should be in the bedroom. You’re happy, your partner is happy, and the two of you create a sexual fairytale. Pleasure is about taking somebody over the edge and then getting the same in return. Prepare yourself for some serious back and forth, and a whole new fun way of bonding too.
5. Recognize What It Takes to Stimulate You in Every Way
Finally figure out what stimulation means where pleasure is concerned. It may be just a matter of having a spectacular sexual experience. It may be that you find some toys or other fun ways to take things up a notch. No matter what it is, you have to focus in on what can help to take you to the next level.
This is how you get to the amazing big O — and you will know that you’ve hit the very definition of pleasure when you get there. This may actually be new to you because you have spent your life in the dark. Now it’s time to come into the light and see that pleasure can be yours for the taking.
Stimulation isn’t just a one dimensional thing. Don’t be afraid to ask for something a little different or unique. Don’t be afraid to try new things or ask for something new from your partner. This is how you get that sex life that you’ve dreamed of. This is how you redefine pleasure and make this your new norm.
The very concept of pleasure may be new to you, and you are in for a real treat, sister. It’s time to focus on what makes you happy in a sexually satisfying way. It’s time to really get to know your body and what works for it. You can get back to actually enjoying sex and unlocking your pleasure is the key. This is how you go for it in the bedroom, speak up for what you want, and create an undeniable bond and some seriously mind-blowing sex for the two of you.
Megan is a freelance writer who loves to share recipes and write about women’s health and beauty.